Inmates Claim Alcohol Forced Itself Down Their Throats, Seek Damages

Where good decisions go to die.

I just got back from a weekend in New Orleans. Let’s just say that I’ve been freshly reminded of how alcohol can lead to some questionable decision making. Dear God, what a town.

Of course, I’m not the first person to wake up in a gutter on Bourbon Street thinking, “How did it come to this?,” and tracing it all to a drink of some kind, the “one drink too many.” All joking aside, only people who work for beer companies act like alcohol isn’t a huge factor in many serious crimes in this country. Assaults, domestic violence, rapes, even murders are often fueled by excessive consumption.

That said, very few people are abducted, unknowingly saturated with alcohol, and then set loose on an unsuspecting public. Lots of people consume alcohol responsibly. Many people consume alcohol irresponsibly without hurting anyone else, and a few irresponsible individuals consume to excess and then commit heinous acts. What are we going to do, sue the beer companies because some individuals get liquored up before they commit crimes?

Well, for some criminals in Idaho, that’s exactly what they’re doing….

According to the Idaho Statesman, five inmates at Idaho’s Kuna prison sued major beer companies on the theory that alcohol makers don’t sufficiently warn people that their products are addictive.

It’s a lot like the tobacco lawsuits, only if people were claiming that getting hopped up on lung cancer made people go out and shoot people.

Lead plaintiff Keith Allen Brown shot a man to death. I don’t know about you, but I’ve gotten pretty blind stinking drunk before, and I’ve never shot anybody. If anything, I’d rather focus on keeping drunk people away from guns than keeping sober people away from beer.

But Brown feels a warning label would have done him good:

Brown, who pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter in Bonner County in 2010 after fleeing to Florida, said he’s spent nearly 30 years in prison.

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Pennsylvania Governor and NCAA Go to Court to Cover Their Own Asses

Some post-Soviet states kept Lenin statues up longer than Penn State kept JoePa’s.

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is about to do what the Southeastern Conference (the “SEC” that actually takes down its targets) does every week on the recruiting trail: tell the NCAA to get bent.

Yesterday, Governor Tom Corbett filed a federal antitrust suit in Harrisburg alleging that the NCAA overstepped its authority in dropping the hammer on Penn State’s football program in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal.

Apparently the NCAA may not have quasi-governmental authority to take millions in direct fines from public institutions in an effort to protect its brand name.

Pennsylvanian officials are understandably miffed because Penn State is directly paying millions in fines and missing out on millions more in bowl revenue. Taxpayer dollars intended for the public education of students that had nothing to do with the scandal are being siphoned away from the state to finance programs at the sole discretion of the NCAA leadership and the majority is spent outside Pennsylvania.

The NCAA counters that the criminal activity at Penn State was enabled by a culture of winning-at-all-costs and only the NCAA can appropriately discipline the school for that mindset.

But really this lawsuit comes down to two parties, the NCAA and Corbett, making desperate PR moves to cover their own asses. Is that in poor taste? Sure. Is it in even worse taste that the NCAA and Corbett are using this tragedy for their own purposes? Well let’s look at what they’ve been up to….

For those who were living under a rock last year, Jerry Sandusky served as an assistant football coach for Penn State University. In this role, he coached great linebackers and sexually abused kids. He’s in jail now.

There’s also a good deal of evidence that university officials, including University President Graham Spanier and athletic director Tim Curley, probably knew that Sandusky was a criminal and decided to cover it up. They’ve been indicted. Football coaching legend Joe Paterno may have had some idea too… but he’s dead, so he’s not facing prosecution.

And this is where the embarrassing stories of the NCAA and Governor Corbett come in:

1) The NCAA got in way over its head hoping no one would notice.

This lawsuit was a long time coming. The NCAA has nebulous authority to do much of anything, and the idea that a loose, voluntary association of colleges possessed the authority to rob a state institution for anything other than a violation of the NCAA’s own rules always seemed suspect. Once the organization decided to take a bite out of a public university, repercussions became inevitable.

Lest you have an inaccurate impression of the NCAA’s power and wise leadership role, this is an organization that banned bagels and cream cheese as recently as last year. Whether a school can serve cream cheese with bagels is actually a topic that requires meetings for the NCAA.

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